Opportunities are more present in being 'Traditionally Attractive' (Opinion)
The comfort in InfoTech's that you can invest your focus on objects and the solution tends to be binary. The dire consequences typically can be analysed where you can then adapt and make changes moving forward to mitigate facing the next problematic event.
But a chilling reality when it comes to leadership and relationship's that many people has a predisposition to live by their instincts, and as one who didn't quite get a good dice roll in carrying a traditional look, people like me had grown accustomed to people jumping on conclusions on who we're supposed to be. And this isn't a victim card per say, that's just not how I like to think but there's tangible data that supports this.
One of many examples for instance's the strong correlation between height and senior leadership roles. When you're taller or at least physically imposing, your presence comes across as more like a leader specially if you add a sensible assertive voice on top of it. As far as physical influence being a factor, the best analogy I could think of is Barrack Obama. He's a decorated Harvard graduate with wits and charisma off the charts! But do we really think that he'd qualify as a New Zealand Prime Minister? Obviously, I meant this in a universe where he was New Zealand raised with the same accolades. My answer to that is 'No and fair enough' because people would've had a glance at him and think 'Well, he's clearly not one of us so how could he possibly understand what we go through?'. Our intentions are sometimes just going to be a bit disconnected from how they think you should be carrying yourself. You're already allocated a role in some people's minds where you're supposed to operate and going out of that boundary isn't going to be favourable.
I'd also argue that's part of the fundamental pieces that makes the Tall Poppy Syndrome. While yeah, it's nice that we keep the egoistic troublemaker in check but that doesn't mean that the decision on who's up to no good is always reliable. It's no surprise that there's an ongoing depression pandemic in the country and that's partly because self-belief is very hard to express in a way that isn't insulting anyone. And if you can't grab yourself by the bootstraps then how do we function well enough to contribute in our communities? So, what gives? I'd argue that a relentless approach in showcasing that you're not who they think you are is the way to go; outrun them on the treadmill. Don't ever give them a reason to justify the life long embedded prejudice and stick to the parts of you that you fully believe helps make the world just a tiny bit more bearable. Let's please not get bitter and play their game just because 'that's who they think I am anyway!' cos that's just running into the trap of a toxic negative spiral so it's important to stay above that. It is essential to continue trying our best to remember that a lot of what makes life worth the sacrifice isn't measurable, the same way we'd recognise beautiful artwork without attached numerical value.
'A person is what he is and not what he looks like' -World Association of Ugly People
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