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'be strong enough to be gentle'

Brilliant, you found me.

I’m quite impressed actually because if somehow you’ve found this entry then maybe it paints a decent picture in terms of interest towards my efforts here. Whoever you are, I’m truly flattered. Although I’m sorry to disappoint but I haven’t really got a pragmatic reason behind this page but I just knew that a touch of authenticity had to be included. I’m aware that this may not favour me but I think integrity is very important. Without it, there isn’t conviction and without conviction then we wouldn’t have the courage to challenge ourselves that eventually expands our perspective.

I love pretending to be a ‘writer’ these days for instance. I thought that maybe if I’ve written enough content on the regular, that I’d eventually be able to call myself one with confidence. It’s a good middle ground of a hobby for someone who once dreamt of being a world touring musician that’s now in the technology industry. The idea of articulating my thoughts and imagination just hits the craving that music once covered while exceptionally being applicable as a tech consultant. All the conveniences that comes with it had trickled down my personal life too and that makes a happy bonus for me.

If you haven’t noticed, my website’s a little heavy on the water theme. I think it’s because I’ve got somewhat of a dependency for swimming because of my belief that 'whatever’s good for the heart is good for the brain'. Moving into a coastal city’s also made me fall in-love with the ocean and since then, I never want to live too far from the waters ever again. All this had made me a big sucker for turquoise and any piece of jewellery that reminds me of the waters too. If you’ve known me IRL for a minute, I’m sure it was difficult to not notice; it's a bit whack for an IT guy but it just makes me feel protected. Carrying a reminder of the waters helps tone my natural intensity down and I think it’s also responsible behind my improved sense of self-trust with my temperament when push comes to shove.

'the best fighter is never angry'

The intensity was probably from all the years of watching boxing. Dealing with challenges and a lack of reliable support in a previous life had made me overly dependent on trying to make sense of it through viewing matchups from my favourite sport rivalry repeatedly. While it wasn’t quite helpful with handling temperament, they at least stand as reminder these days for me that it’s possible to be a great fighter as both an offensive attacker like Manny Pacquiao or a defensive risk-averse Floyd Mayweather. I think there’s value in both their fighting styles and philosophies that transcends boxing. But a strength that they both share's the ability to adapt while staying true to their attributes. My new current favourite in Terence Crawford actually combined this whole idea against Canelo Alvarez but I’m not going to dive into that because this isn’t a boxing page.

'coração ardente, mas cabeça fria’ (keep a passionate heart and a cool head)

I just wish that boxing was a little safer for brain health because then I wouldn’t have poured all that desire for combat strategies into playing Tekken so much. That’s okay though because at least the platform still provided me a window on what it’s like to deal with reading clever players while adapting on the fly. Arguably, I do still get that sort of cognitive thrill that athletes probably go through whenever I play this game and it really validated the term ‘e-sports’ for me; it's modern chess. In the long run, I just fancy being that guy who’s reliably cool, calm and measured when things go left 🐢